Falling on Deaf Ears
by Loopstagirl
Summary: Arthur has been acting strangely for weeks and Merlin can't figure out why.


_Disclaimer: I own nothing, all rights belong to their respective owners._

 _I know I'm behind on practically everything right now. But I've been watching Merlin again and this sprung to mind, so I just had to get it written. Takes place between 2x01 and 2x02. I hope you like it._

* * *

"I don't need you tonight."

"Excuse me?" Merlin stared at Arthur, not certain he had heard the prince correctly.

"I do not require your services this evening," Arthur said, his tone annoyed. "Go home."

Arthur turned away, refusing to meet Merlin's gaze. He bent over the paperwork littering his desk but Merlin knew he wasn't reading any. For one thing, they were upside down. But for another, Arthur's shoulders were rigid with tension and he was gripping onto the edge of the desk. Merlin knew the prince hated paperwork and seeing how much the repairs were costing the kingdom was getting to Arthur. But that wasn't the reason behind his agitation.

"Arthur-,"

"You should get some rest, Merlin. Tomorrow will be busy."

Merlin knew that tone and there was no arguing with Arthur when he sounded like that. Merlin sighed, shook his head and backed towards Arthur's door. But the prince didn't turn around and Merlin slipped into the corridor without another word.

This wasn't the first time Arthur had been acting strangely. He hadn't been right since Segan's attack. Merlin didn't blame him; fighting gargoyles in his own courtyard must have been unnerving. But Merlin was certain it went deeper than that, only he had no idea what was troubling the prince.

If he didn't know better, he would have said Arthur was being _nice_ to him.

His feet carried him back to Gaius even while his mind tried to figure out the prince. He opened the door and looked up to see Gaius watching him in exasperation.

" _Again_ , Merlin?" The old man sighed and Merlin shrugged.

"He doesn't need me for tonight." Merlin sat down at the workbench, leaning back on his elbows. "I'm not complaining."

Gaius raised an eyebrow but Merlin glanced away. He knew his body language would betray him, just as Arthur's was. He spoke again before Gaius could ask.

"He said tomorrow would be busy and I should get some rest."

"Off you go then," Gaius said, his tone dismissive as he turned back to his books. Merlin stood up and took one step towards the stairs. Then he sat back down again.

"Gaius?"

"Merlin."

"He never cares if I get any rest or not."

"Maybe he is grateful that you were right about Cedric and tried to warn him?"

"Maybe," Merlin said thoughtfully. "But he's already apologised for that. This is something else."

"What is it, Merlin?"

Merlin could hear the exasperation in Gaius' voice. Being sent home early three days in a row was starting to take its toll: Merlin knew he wasn't letting his mentor get on with his own work just because his duties were done for the day.

"It's something Cedric said," Merlin began. He wondered if he would regret telling Gaius about this. But Arthur was acting strangely and Merlin knew it was beyond him to sort the prince out this time.

"Yes?"

"He told Arthur I was tired," Merlin said, trying not to blush. "That I needed a break. Could…I mean, do you think Arthur believed him?"

"Do I think Arthur believed a man who stole from him, became possessed by a sorcerer and then tried to not only kill Arthur himself but destroy the kingdom?"

"Ah." Merlin grinned ruefully at his mentor. "Good point."

"Go to bed, Merlin." Gaius said, pointedly looking back at his books. This time, Merlin made it to the bottom of the stairs.

"Gaius?"

Gaius sighed heavily before looking at him. "Yes, Merlin?"

"Goodnight."

Merlin disappeared into his room and shut the door behind him. But he didn't go to bed; there was too much going on in his mind. He wished he knew what was wrong with Arthur. They may never directly talk about their emotions, but he was around the prince enough to know when something was bothering the man. There was something weighing heavily on Arthur's mind. It was Merlin's destiny to protect him and sometimes, Merlin wondered if that was protecting Arthur from himself. But if the prince didn't confide in him, then there was nothing he could do.

But Merlin hated feeling helpless. He might not have a magical threat or even a tangible problem to solve, but that didn't mean he was going to get complacent. With a flash of his eyes, his magic book soared into his hand and Merlin idly started leafing through it.

Since the Dragon had blessed him with the knowledge to defeat Sigan, spells had come easier to Merlin. But he knew there was still a long path to tread before Arthur became king and Merlin had a lot to learn.

He fell asleep with the book on his chest and woke with a start as the first rays of dawn filtered through his window. Merlin tossed the book on the floor, then thought better of it and returned it to its normal hiding place: Gaius had told him about Uther's declaration to come down harder on sorcerers. He scrambled into his clothes and hopped down the stairs, still trying to pull his boots on.

"I'm late," he said as Gaius looked at him in disbelief. How the man stayed up half the night mixing tinctures and was still up before him in the morning, Merlin had no idea. He ran out of the door without eating, shouting over his shoulder that he would grab something from the kitchens.

Although he knew Cedric had only been after Arthur's keys, Merlin still felt stung that the prince had appeared to prefer Cedric's service in that short time. It made Merlin determined to prove that _he_ was Arthur's servant. Maybe he wasn't the best, but he would be damned before he let someone else kick him out of his job.

He was late when he arrived at Arthur's chambers. Determined to use the steaming plate of food as his excuse, Merlin had his retorts ready. But Arthur didn't say anything. He just nodded as Merlin put the food down.

"Thank you."

" _What?"_ Merlin couldn't stop the word from blurting out as he stared at Arthur. The prince looked coolly back.

"You heard. Now go and muck out my stables."

"Yes…Sire." Merlin left the room barely moments after entering, a frown on his face. Arthur was either being nice to him (which was worrying) or didn't seem to be able to stand to be in his presence (which was worse). Merlin had no idea what to do and so he dutifully set off to the stables.

But once he was there, his irritation returned. He could still hear Arthur's dismissal ringing in his ears whenever he was in here, still see the scathing look on Arthur's face as he had banished Merlin from his presence, replacing him with a man he didn't know.

"It's not even like Cedric did save his life," Merlin grumbled, not caring that he was talking to a horse. "And even if he did, Arthur's known me for longer. He should have known that I wouldn't lie to him about something like that."

The horse's head tossed, nudging Merlin on the shoulder. It was enough to break Merlin from his rant and he laughed, scratching the beast behind his ears. Unlike Arthur, Merlin knew what it took to make the prince's horses happy.

He worked steadily, making sure everything was spotless before cleaning up and hurrying to fetch Arthur his lunch. He let himself quietly into the prince's chambers, reluctant to disturb Arthur. The man was pouring over reports again, his brow furrowed, and Merlin knew it genuinely distressed Arthur that he couldn't do more to help his people rebuild from Sigan's attack.

Once he realised that Arthur had no intention of stopping for lunch, he cleared his throat softly.

"Arthur, you should eat."

"I'll eat later."

"But-,"

"That will be all, Merlin. You may return to Gaius."

"No." Merlin had had enough. He stood his ground and folded his arms even as Arthur slowly looked up at him.

"Excuse me?"

"Stop dismissing me, Arthur," Merlin said. "I've always stayed while you were working on reports. Your room needs a clean because you keep chucking me out before I can do it. I'm staying."

"I told you to leave." Arthur sounded angry, but Merlin ignored the warning tone.

"I don't care!" He unfolded his arms, running his hand through his hair in frustration. He complained to Gaius that Arthur didn't see who him for who he truly was. But right now, he felt they were going backwards; Arthur wasn't even treating him like a servant any longer.

"I told you only a few months ago that I was happy to be your servant until the day I died. Now I can't even clean your room without you throwing me out. What is wrong with you? What have I done?"

Arthur visibly flinched and Merlin sucked in a sharp breath, swallowing his rant.

"Why do you say you are happy to be my servant?"

"Is this a test?" Merlin said, cautious. Arthur was tense, his eyes sharp and calculating. Merlin had the feeling he was in dangerous territory right now but had no idea how to retreat. He didn't want to back down; he wanted to understand why Arthur was acting so strange.

"Answer the question."

"No."

Merlin thought he was good at predicting Arthur's moods. But he had forgotten just how fast the prince could move. He didn't have time to duck until the flying goblet gave him a passing glance on the side of his head. Merlin clapped a hand to it, relieved when there was no blood. It didn't stop it hurting though.

"What was that for?!"

"Why didn't you stop me?"

"I didn't see it coming. I can't duck that fast!" Merlin would have been angry if he wasn't so hurt – and not physically. Arthur always jested when he threw things these days, but the goblet had been flung with intent. Arthur was standing, his hands on the desk and breathing hard. Merlin couldn't read the expression on his face, but right now, he wasn't sure he wanted to. He couldn't help thinking that just because it was his duty to protect Arthur didn't mean he had to like the man. He had had enough of Arthur's mood swings.

He whirled around, storming towards the door. His hand was on the handle when Arthur spoke again.

"I didn't expect you to duck."

"Then how the hell was I supposed to stop you?"

Arthur stared at him, incredulously. Merlin had no idea what the prince wanted from him and his blank expression told Arthur as much.

"With _magic._ "

Merlin stared. A roaring noise filled his ears and his breathing picked up. Pain sparked through his chest but he knew it wasn't physical. Panic clawed at him and, gasping, Merlin grabbed the door handle again.

He knew his mother would say he wasn't thinking straight. Gaius would say he wasn't thinking at all.

But Merlin did the only thing he was capable of in that moment: he ran.

His feet chose the path for him as his mind was incapable of rational thought. He had wanted this, _dreamt_ of this, and now that Arthur apparently knew, the only thing Merlin could focus on was reaching somewhere safe before he threw up.

Gaius' door banged shut behind him before Merlin was able to gulp air. Coming back here had been foolish; it would only put Gaius in danger. But Merlin couldn't move. His legs gave way and he half-sat, half-collapsed onto a stool, breathing hard as he pushed his hair out of his eyes. When the stitch in his side started to ease, Merlin forced himself to think about what had just happened.

 _How had Arthur found out?_

Merlin knew he wasn't careful, not the way he should be. But since becoming used to his duties as Arthur's servant, he no longer used his magic for his chores; he didn't need to. Since Cedric/Sigan, Camelot had been peaceful and Arthur hadn't even gone on any hunting trips. There had been nothing to protect him from and Merlin hadn't used his gift outside of his own room for a few weeks. But something must have tipped the prince off.

Merlin knew Arthur must have known for some time. It was the only thing that explained the strange mood-swings the prince had been in recently. Even as he combed his fingers through his hair, Merlin knew something wasn't right. While Arthur had been dismissing him more and more lately, he had also been strangely nice on occasion. Which made no sense if he had just discovered his servant had magic.

Merlin didn't know what to do. Arthur had thrown him in the cells just because he had gone for Cedric – and Merlin had been the one in the right all along. He had no idea what Arthur would do to him this time and his whole body tensed, listening for guards.

But eventually, his heart-rate calmed down and he was able to think straight. If Arthur had indeed known since Sigan's attack, he could have called the guards weeks ago. Instead, he had let Merlin back into his chambers. He hadn't said or done anything up until now.

Slowly, Merlin got to his feet. He took a step towards the door, stopped and then scolded himself for being foolish. He couldn't stay here and hide. No matter what the consequences, he would face this with his head held high. He only hoped that Arthur gave him the chance to explain before he had him arrested.

That didn't stop Merlin feeling a little sheepish as he moved back towards Arthur's chambers and knocked softly on the door. The conversation could have been out of the way hours ago if only he hadn't bolted. But, as Gaius would say, what was done was done and there was nothing he could do about it now.

Arthur sounded tired when he bid Merlin to enter but looked surprised when his servant slipped back into the room.

"I thought you would be halfway to Ealdor by now."

"I figured if you were going to arrest me, you would have done it weeks ago." Merlin closed the door behind him, leaning back on it. The feeling of the wood pressing against his back was reassuring, helping to ground him. He took a breath and pressed on.

"You've known for a while, haven't you?"

"As oblivious as you are, Merlin, even you can't have failed to notice my change in mood."

"I'm the oblivious one?" Merlin said with a laugh, then realised that mocking Arthur right now was not a good idea. Not when it was his neck on the line – literally. He took a breath, and moved away from the door.

"How did you find out?"

Arthur couldn't hold his gaze. He stayed sitting at his desk though, and Merlin was grateful. He knew he could defend himself against a real threat, but his magic was meant to protect Arthur, not stop him, and Merlin knew he would take whatever the prince threw at him without fighting back.

"I heard you."

"You'll have to be more specific than that." Merlin couldn't deny that his heart was beating uncomfortably hard though. He had gone weeks without realising the reason behind Arthur's mood. If it was because the prince had heard him, then Merlin knew there was every chance someone else had as well.

"During Sigan's attack," Arthur said, his voice heavy with reluctance. "I heard you in the courtyard."

"You were unconscious."

Arthur shook his head. "I couldn't move and couldn't open my eyes. But I wasn't unconscious."

Merlin froze. He couldn't run; not again. But he could remember clearly what Sigan had offered him, and just how loudly the man had stated how powerful Merlin was. If Arthur had indeed heard their exchange, Merlin couldn't brush it off as pretending to know a few tricks and that was all. Sigan had been prepared to possess him to have access to his raw power.

But he also remembered how he had hesitated. For a split-second, everything Sigan was offering him was just what Merlin himself had complained to Gaius about earlier that week. He _had_ wanted Arthur to know who he truly was, to respect what he could do rather than treat him like an idiot.

"I-," Merlin swallowed. "Are you angry?"

"I should be," Arthur said. His voice was soft and low and he refused to meet Merlin's gaze again. "I should have had you arrested the instant I arrived back in the castle."

"Why didn't you?"

"I heard everything, Merlin."

"So?"

"Everything. Not just what Sigan said."

Merlin stared at him, not understanding. Then it dawned on him and he felt a blush beginning to rise. Despite his initial hesitation, he had defended Arthur, defended his own position as a servant by claiming that he was happy to serve. He hadn't denied Sigan's words, hadn't claimed that it couldn't be the way the man was promising. He was powerful; he could topple this kingdom on his own if he wanted, let alone with another sorcerer by his side.

But Merlin had vouched for Arthur, claiming that he would remain a servant and that none of Arthur's treatment of him mattered. He knew good from evil, and he had vocally placed Arthur one side of that line.

"I…I don't know what to say," he eventually muttered. Now it was his turn to look at the floor.

"You didn't deny that I treated you badly," Arthur said. If Merlin wasn't mistaken, emotion clouded Arthur's tone. "And you told him it didn't matter."

Merlin came further into the room. "It doesn't."

He sat on the edge of Arthur's bed, looking at the prince. Arthur looked completely lost and Merlin suddenly understood his behaviour. It must have hurt, knowing that his servant – his friend – had been keeping something from him, something that he had been trained to hate and fear. But Arthur had heard for himself that Merlin would put up with being treated like a slave and still wouldn't be swayed to the powers of evil. He was loyal, and had proved it in a way that couldn't be faked. After all, Arthur knew that Merlin had thought him unconscious at the time.

"I threw you out," Arthur continued. Merlin could hear the guilt this time.

"And replaced me with a thief-turned-murderous-sorcerer." Merlin grinned at Arthur. "Maybe that should teach you to put up with me."

"Maybe." Arthur finally looked up at the same time as Merlin looked across the room and their gazes met for the first time in weeks. Merlin ran his fingers through his hair, distractedly.

"What are you going to do?" He asked uncertainly. It felt like a stupid question; a reminder that it was Arthur's duty to uphold the law and obey his king, no matter what. But Merlin knew their conversation would go around in circles otherwise, neither of them wanting to address it. Arthur sighed.

"Nothing." He shoved his chair back, standing up but facing the window. Merlin knew that decision cost the prince: he was used to obeying the king even if he didn't agree.

"How can I? That man offered you the world and you are clearly powerful enough to have battled him and lived to tell the tale. You could have taken him up on his offer; most men would have. Instead, you defended me. You said you would rather stay as my servant. I can hardly sack you after a speech like that, can I?"

Merlin smiled, but it was a shadow of his usual one. He understood how conflicted Arthur had been these past few weeks: on one hand, his servant was a sorcerer who had lied to him. On the other, Merlin had remained loyal even after Arthur had turned on him.

"And my secret?"

"Will remain that way unless you are even more of an idiot than you usually are."

Arthur finally turned back, one finger raised in warning. "But if you get caught, so help me, I'll execute you myself for putting me in an awkward situation."

"Yes, Sire." Merlin finally grinned properly. To his delight, Arthur smiled back, looking as if a weight had been lifted from him. Merlin felt the same. A shadow he hadn't been consciously aware of was gone. He had got everything Sigan promised - Arthur accepting him for who he really was – without having to take over the kingdom to achieve it.

He nodded softly at his master and Arthur returned it. Then the prince cleared his throat and looked around the room.

"Have you seen the state of my chambers?" he complained. "Do something about it, would you?"

"I would have done days ago if you hadn't kept chucking me out," Merlin muttered, picking up a cloth as he did so. He knew he could have used magic; the door was shut and there was no reason to hide. He meant what he had said; he was happy to be Arthur's servant, even if that meant his arms were aching and his knees hurt by the end of the day.

But as he finally started shoving Arthur's belongings behind his cabinets to deal with at a later point, Merlin decided that, just this once, he wouldn't complain about it.


End file.
